Category: Thoughts

Childcare, Maggie and sunshine

With a little help from technology we’ve found a wonderful woman and her family who’ve agreed to provide childcare services for Li Li. Lei has two children, a daughter who is 3 1/2 years-old and a son who is 11 months old. Lei’s husband is a PHD student in applied mathematics at Brown, and they are from the Anhui province in China which is a neighboring province to Jiangxi (Li Li’s home province). They speak Mandarin at home so Li Li will be able to maintain her Mandarin skills, not too mention be extremely well cared for by Lei and her mother-in-law. We feel very lucky to have found such a wonderful family so quickly. It’s definitely a load off our minds.

So many of you have asked for more pictures so here are a few just so you can all see just how beautiful our little daughter is.

LiLiCathSun  Li Li Paper

Catherine spends lots of time staring at the our little jewel. Like her father, Li Li has become a big fan of the morning paper. Here she is about to rant about how those darn Red Sox.

ChairShadow

One of the benefits of being up at 5:30 is you can see the sun rise. This is the first sunlight coming through our antique bay windows. The light only stays on the door for about 3 minutes before moving across the room.

Li Li Floor Maggie  HandPaw

Maggie has adopted Li Li as a member of the pack and even seems to accept the fact Li Li is now the highest ranking female in the household. (I as the only male, am still the Alpha male but we’ll leave the relative rankings of females and males in the household for another day….).

LiliToysFloor

Maggie likes to be be close to the action and Li Li is where the action is.

LiLiBathmad LiLiGabe 

Baths are still problematic. Li Li expresses her displeasure. We’re not sure why she’s so unhappy with baths but we haven’t had much success convincing of the fun to be had splashing in water. Once bathtime is over, she returns to her wonderful happy self. Here the neighbors came for a visit and even the sun cooperated by highlighting the newest star of the neighborhood.

Sorry the posting frequency has dropped but parenthood is much harder when there is no maid service, no laundry service, no buffet breakfasts, etc. It’s all worth it, but we do miss China. -tjm

 

Lili is still a star

After spending several days here on Shamian Island in Guangzhou – which is essentially adoption central for families from the US because of the old location of the US Consulate – and where it’s fairly typical to see caucasian families with their chinese daughters (and occasional sons) and the only people who really take an interest are usually the proprietors of gift shops, we ventured out into the city today in search of the mythical $100 suit and cheap custom shirts. We ended up in a nice shopping area where we were surrounded by shop clerks all very interested in our little daughter. At one point we had 5 floor attendants all clustered around us – I know this because I counted out loud in chinese – “yi, er, san, si, wo” and pointed at each woman as I did. They all laughed, apparently I’ve finally found an audience of people who’ll laugh at my jokes.

Back to the mythical custom suit. Ever since WWII men have come back from Hong Kong and China talking about these great custom suits and shirts, made in 24 or 48 hours. Supposedly dirt cheap and they look great. The cheap hong kong suit was even a featured Sgt. Bilko episode. I’ve never actually met anyone though, who’s had it done themselves. Since our Chinese Visas won’t allow us to go to Hong Kong on this trip, I did some investigating and found a place a whopping $2.50 taxi ride away. So after Lili’s – and our’s as well – morning nap and a simple little lunch at this outdoor cafe, we hopped into a taxi. We found the place (well Catherine did anyway) and quickly discovered they aren’t cheap at all. I don’t really need an $800 suit, no matter how nice it will look and custom shirts can be had with english speaking tailors in the US for less than their $120 per shirt price. So we left still suitless and shirtless.

A little background. I have a size 18 neck, which coupled with my size 46/48 chest means all dress shirts billow around my waist like a loose main sheet in a fresh breeze. So I’ve been trying to figure out how I can have nice, crisp, refined dress shirts made for my hard-to-fit frame for a long time. I did find a very nice custom tailor once, but his suit/shirt sets start around $2,000 and go up. Given the impending, and now actual, addition to our family that was a purchase that didn’t seem very prudent.

Back to today, after the first tailor we walked around this shopping district just enjoying the warm 75-80 degree temperatures and not even bothering to window shop since neither one us are likely to find much in the shops that will fit us. We wondered into the “Trust-Mart” in hopes of finding a WC (water closet which the chinese seem to have adopted as a universal term for restroom). We succeeded in that quest, if finding squat toilets can be considered successful. After a quick change of our little Lili, we started looking around the stores and found a store called “Happy Store”. It turns out it was a children’s/baby store. We stocked up with a hat for Lili, a new drop cloth (or whatever you call those spitup/feeding cloths), a bulb syringe for her stuffy nose and a pair of child’s training chopsticks. We also attracted loads of attention from the staff who all though Lili was a beautiful “Xiao Bao” (little baby).  We then ventured up to the trust mart. It was like Walmart, but less frenetic. Since we needed diapers we picked up enough pampers to make it home.

After leaving the trusty Trust-Mart, we went to the fabric market. It isn’t a market as much as a large multi-storey building filled with separate 3×6, 6×8 and 10×12 little kiosks and shops all with their own slightly different fabric sold by the meter. We did find a nice woman with good wool suit fabric who spoke with a tailor across the corridor who didn’t speak english but said it would 500 Kwai (slang for the Yuan). We also asked the shop keeper how much fabric we would need for a suit. Her response – “for you?” followed by gails of laughter by her, Catherine and finally myself. She finally settled on about 3 meters which would have cost about 280 Kwai. So If I had been willing I could have had the $100 but since the tailor spoke no english, had no samples of her work making western suits, and wanted five days to finsh it (we only have 3) I decided to let that opportunity pass by. But we did enjoy the fabric complexes, we walked through two buildings all the while thinking how much fun Brett or Ann would have wondering through there. Every conceivable kind of fabric for clothes, bedding, curtains, tapestry not to mention all the yarns, buttons, trim, etc. I’m sure there are people who would have known what to do with such a bonanza, we weren’t those people. As it was we found two pillow covers so ridiculously cheap that we had to buy them and a table runner for about 1/7 the price of what they are charging for them on Shamian Island. Someday my suit will come.

Through all of this shopping Lili was her usual charming self -see the new pink hat along with the traffic coming at us as we are stopped for several light cycles in the middle of an intersection.

Lilitaxi

You may notice that Lili is secured in the baby bjorn and not in a car seat. I’ve been in China two weeks now and have yet to see such a contraption. Hopefully Lili will not complain when she gets strapped into her first car seat after a 30-hour-trip.

We took another nap before dinner before discovering that once again Lili really doesn’t like baths, as in face completely wound up, massive screaming and crying, crocodile tears, the works. A nice preview of what she’ll look like when I turn down her request for her own car on her 16th birthday, only with no shouting. Catherine turned in early because she has the cold, I’ve had twice already, and has now migrated to her and probably to Lili as well. Apparently we are doomed to travel through China with low-grade nuisance illnesses, which I guess beats the 4 day hospitalization a recent adoption traveler we know experienced a few months ago.

That’s all for now. BTW, what happened to all the commenting? We were really enjoying reading everyone’s comments to each other in the morning when we wake up, but they’ve been diminishing recently. Is anyone out there still reading our long-winded posts? Let us know either way. Zaijian -t

Swearing-in and on our own

Well tonight was our first night having dinner with just the three of us and I cannot say it turned out to be the most peaceful of meals.  Our Lili decided she had had enough about 7:30pm and we were not quite finished with our dinner.  Standing up quieted her down for a bit but nothing would really make her calm down.  Of course, she tends to have these brief albeit loud screams as she goes to sleep and although I know that is the way she falls asleep whether either of us are holding her or not, it is a new experience to have it happen at dinner.  I finally decided we had to go home for bed and Thom stayed to finish up (the meal was delicious by the way) and of course the minute I got into the hotel room our laughing, smiling baby returned.  Right now she is doing her nightly “crib aerobics.”  This is when I place her in her crib the normal way and she ends up making a tour of the crib on her back and often sticking her legs and arms out of the slats.  I just looked over and there she is gnawing on the wooden slat with both hands sticking out of the crib and her fee doing it, too.  She gets into quite a happy mood as she does these aerobics although still interspersed with that “I don’t want to go to sleep” cry.  Last night I went over to her to her and to provoke me, she lifted her arms up in that pick me up motion for the first time and gave a huge smile.  She did it a little later for Thom.  It was a hard one to ignore but she did stay in the crib and seemed perfectly content to do so.  The funny thing is that she will do all this movement and talking to her self and then suddenly all will be quiet because she has dropped off to sleep.  (I just looked over again and she is doing leg lifts with her right leg).

img_0410.JPG

Look! I can see myself in the mirror at the end of my crib

Today was a big day.  We had our last meal as a group and then everyone else had to get their luggage into the hallway at 2:30 and we all loaded onto the bus for our consulate appointment.  I never would have thought but I teared up after the little oath was made and actually had to take our daughter out of Thom’s arms to give her a big hug.  It just made me realize again how lucky we are that Lili has come into our lives.  She is a true gift even in her ornery moods like tonight and let’s admit it both her parents are pretty ornery, too.  We said goodbye to everyone and were lucky enough to get a bus with another group back to the White Swan Hotel thanks to Candy who by the way wanted us to say hi to everyone she knows from previous trips.

img_0430.JPG

Naptime on the way to the American Consulate

Thom has a whole bunch of things planned over the next couple of days and we’ll see which ones we are able to accomplish.  I think they might be a bit ambitious but we will have to see how things go because in all honesty our baby is overall very adaptable to the changes that keep happening to her and there have been a lot.  We were talking over dinner last night about all the things these babies go through and how quickly they adapt to this new situation.  As adults, we are usually pretty horrible at adapting that quickly to new things.

img_0404.JPG

Lili and Daddy by the waterfall.  Lili doesn’t mind water as long as she is not immersed into it

Quiet has set in over at the crib so I am guessing that Lili has finally finished her aerobic exercise and fallen off to sleep.  She is, of course, facing the opposite way that she started but at least all her limbs are inside the bars of the crib. For now.

More pictures

Here are some pictures from our trip so far that I decided to upload since Lili is taking her nap and the internet connection seems fast.  It is hard to look at the pictures from Beijing and realize that we did not have Lili yet.  She has become so much a part of our lives that I cannot remember those days that she was not. -c

Today’s lunch was KFC and Chinese Pepsi. And boy they not only taste different but are actually tasty. Of course not as tasty as some of our lunches have been the last few days but still tasty. Of course before KFC we had the whiteout party with our paperwork in preparation for our trip to Guangzhou and our appointments at the US consultate. It was two hours of excruciatingly slow movement filling out lots of forms in specific order with specific entries. I haven’t done anything so painful since boot camp, but Lili makes it all worth while. -t

Street life in Beijing – which must be the grayest city in the world.

leaving-beijing010.jpg

leaving-beijing002.jpg

leaving-beijing005.jpg

More pictures from the People’s Park:

lili-day3-jpg017.jpg   lili-day3-jpg027.jpg

 lili-day3-jpg025.jpg

lili-day3-jpg034.jpg

lili-day3-jpg073.jpg

lili-day3-jpg077.jpg

Nachang street life:

lili-day3-jpg089.jpg lili-day3-jpg099.jpg 

lili-day5-jpg026.jpg   lili-day4-jpg055.jpg

lili-day5-jpg030.jpg

  Restaurant decoration

More Pavillion:

lili-day4-jpg015-1.jpg

lili-day4-jpg036-1.jpg   lili-day4-jpg067-1.jpg

More pictures of Lili:

lili-day4-jpg086.jpg

Thom insisted on putting on his shirt first

lili-day5-jpg027.jpg

lili-day5-jpg082.jpg

Village life:

lili-day5-jpg047.jpg lili-day5-jpg060.jpg  

lili-day5-jpg102.jpg

lili-day5-jpg105.jpg

lili-day5-jpg117.jpg